


Hotbed

by Busillis



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: And the Universe said: You're gonna get laid, Body Exploration, Bondage, Breeding, Checking in, Communication, Cowgirl Position, Cunnilingus, Eating out, Edging, Explicit Consent, Fade In/Fade Out Elements, Grinding, Humor, I hc Ex being shorter than Zed mkay, I think that's the right tag, I'm always dying like men, Kidnapping, Kissing, Light Handjob, M/M, No Pregnancy, Not Beta Read, Sex Magic, Sex swap, Size Difference, Smut, Some Hair pulling, Squirting, Teasing, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Vex Magic, Vexgina, big dick zed rights, but it's mentioned, i also suck at summaries but i also enjoy being vague, illagers are also mentioned, kinda not really, look if wm has a big dick then so does zed lmao, magical influence, mutual consent, only X is the tall X-boy, some oral fixation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Busillis/pseuds/Busillis
Summary: When the universe decides on something, elements align together in very odd ways.As a result, he wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognize.He's also not alone, and what he's told he never expects to hear.(You don't have to read my other fic 'The Worm in my Dirt Block' before reading this one, but this is like a continuation only in that this fic takes place sometime after the events of 'TWIMDB')
Relationships: Evil X/Zedaph, Evil Xisuma/Zedaph, Zedex
Comments: 15
Kudos: 106





	Hotbed

**Author's Note:**

> I purposefully waited a week before posting this, and I was in agony the entire time omg
> 
> This fic was created around late August of 2019, and I remember it took me forever to actually finish it cause I didn't know how to stop typing lol and to be quite frank, I still don't know how to write short fics
> 
> You've already seen his name in the tags, so you all know Ex is in this
> 
> But yeah, since Ex spends a lot of time with WormMan, it only seemed natural for him to eventually get to spend some time with Zedaph, too. And yes, I was calling it Zedex well before that one hermitship post came out with the proposed hermitship names (I haven't seen any of the ship names and I still haven't. The only name I've seen so far is 'Cumbo' that other people mentioned in their reblogs, and that's honestly gold omg). I'm still calling it Zedex
> 
> But yeah, friendly reminder that while this fic isn't over the top, if at any point there's an element to this fic that doesn't sit well with you— whether it's at the beginning, middle, or end— you are more than welcome to back out of this fic. You are not obligated to keep reading, or even interact with it after the fact. I know I have my fair share of fics that I had to ollie out of for many various reasons over the many years I've been a part of fandom

It was warm.

Oh, it was so very warm.

It was a pool of warmth enveloping him gently, making him feel like he was floating.

It was a bit colder in a few spots, barely off by a few degrees, but it's just enough to slowly stir him awake.

His vision swims the moment his eyes crack open, the clarity wavering as his brain tries to correct the focus. He squints and blinks a few times, noticing that something in his system was causing his eyes to take longer to adjust to this lag. He idly wonders if he had fallen asleep with the intention of taking just a quick power nap and had instead accidentally woken up in the next century. Eventually his vision clears up just enough for him to take in his immediate surroundings— he was flat on his back looking straight up.

He was also laying on some kind of soft material, probably a bed or something. Against the heavy lethargy oozing into the crevices of his body, he lifts his chest up just enough and lets himself drop, feeling himself bouncing slightly from the effort. On a mattress he was, indeed.

He's not sure how long he was out, but it had to have been a while if he's feeling as comfortable as he is in the strange spread eagle position he woke up in. He goes to wipe his face with a heavy hand, but the hand never makes it. He opens his eyes, unsure when he had closed them in the first place, and barely makes out the cuff wrapped around his wrist.

Attached to the cuff is a cable, pulled taut from his movements, with just enough give for him to lift his arms a few inches off the mattress. It doesn't allow him to move his hands much towards his body. He tries to scoot up towards the headboard but finds his ankles are tied with similar cuffs and cables to the foot of the bed. This was quite a predicament to wake up to.

The cold spots from before turn out to be mostly around his legs as he comes to realize his pants are gone, with nothing but his tighty whities protecting his delicate bits from the open world. He still has his shirt on, but having one's top off is slightly more acceptable than having one's bottoms off. Oddly enough, one of his socks are missing, too.

Before he can look around the room for clues as to where the heck he is, a small cough cuts through the silence. He whips up his head towards the source and recognizes the figure almost immediately.

"Evil Xisuma!" His wrists ache from trying to get up quickly, the cables audibly snapping tightly as they rub uncomfortably against his skin. He must have been fidgeting against them in his deep sleep, too.

Evil X is sitting across the room from him in a dimly lit section of the wall, his sullen aura and piercing stare giving his identity away in half a second. He’s sat in a chair with his legs crossed and palms resting on his knee.

"Zedaph."

His tone is oddly cool, but Zedaph feels relief not having to bolster the identity of Worm Man, still feeling much too tired to be as animated as his alter ego. He should’ve figured already from the lack of fabric resting on his face, or from the absence of pink and yellow attire on his body, but his mind was still in a daze. Zedaph let his body relax and fall back onto the soft bed.

"Oh, thank goodness. Boy, am I glad you're here. Quite a location we've found ourselves in, wherever it is."

"Indeed," Evil X replies, his tone coming out evenly but not giving anything else away. Zedaph stares at the ceiling, unable to make out the details of the material due to the poor lighting conditions on top of his persistently blurred vision. He can’t keep the smile off his face because despite the circumstances, he's glad he's not alone.

"Did I get kidnapped by some bad guys that tied me up? Are you here to rescue me?"

"Yes," He doesn't see the shift in Evil X's demeanor, "... and no."

Zedaph lifts his head, his small smile slightly crooked with mild confusion, "Did we both get kidnapped, and Worm Man is rescuing us?

Evil X huffs, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, "Yes, and no."

The smile slowly falls off Zedaph's face, although he should've known better. Of course Worm Man wasn't coming, but he still had to ask for the sake of his secret identity. The confusion that lingered was still very genuine, and he pouts.

"So he's not comin—"

"He's not, and even if he did, we wouldn't be getting out anytime soon, with or without his help." 

Yikes, this wasn't looking good for them, wherever they were and whoever was holding them prisoner.

"Regardless, you're still his sidekick and that counts for something. Any idea where we are? Any chance of escape?"

"Unfortunately, yes, but even more unfortunately, no."

Zedaph was too optimistic to groan or roll his eyes at the repetitive, cryptic answers, but he did try to pull at the restraints to test their give some more. Evil X catches this and pipes up from his seat,

"No use trying to get out of those. They're a fortified material."

Yeah, this absolutely didn't look well for them at all.

"Since you have more of an idea where we are, could you fill me in and get me up to speed? I'm still waking up."

"Happily," Evil X said in a tone that sounded anything but happy. "We've been abducted by illagers. We're in a faraway woodland mansion inside one of their holding chambers, of which can only be opened from the outside. We can’t punch our way out of the walls without alerting the guards, either."

It just occurred to Zedaph that Evil X was missing his helmet. Plus a lot of other articles of clothing like his armor, but he still had a shirt on. He also had a towel wrapped around his hips, but he wasn't sure if he had any underwear underneath because his legs were crossed, plus Zedaph couldn't keep his head lifted off the bed for very long. The other was also free of ropes and chains, seemingly able to roam around however he pleased.

Evil X's expression shifted, and Zedaph realized he might've thunk those last few thoughts out a little too loudly. The other looked embarrassed to say the least, but it didn't keep him from puffing up defensively,

"They caught me off guard like they did with you." Zedaph can't remember anything that happened leading up to their capture so he felt inclined to agree, but he also really wanted to wipe his hair out of his eyes. Due to his lack of free hands, he shook his head, getting the hair out of his face only somewhat successfully.

Evil X continued, "They also may be… keeping us here… on purpose." This confused Zedaph, but there's something else in Evil X's tone that made him lift his head again, not missing the others' firmly downcast gaze. Weren't people usually kept on purpose? Can they be kept accidentally? It's not the same as stowing away, where the persons were keeping themselves.

"And that purpose would be..?" He didn't mean to sound so wary, but the way Evil X avoided eye contact in this moment was telling that he knew exactly what was happening and had tried and failed to prevent his involvement.

But from what? Whatever it was, it certainly made Evil X visibly uncomfortable, obvious in the way he had moved his hands from his knee onto either side of his seat and braced against them, which wasn't a good sign.

“To breed us.”

A pregnant pause expanded within the room, encapsulating them both. Zedaph’s eyes flicked to the corners of the room and back to Evil X’s a few times, lips parting slightly before closing them without a word, brows furrowing. Evil X closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling quickly to dispel the sudden awkwardness.

“Let me rephrase.” He starts to uncross his legs slowly, “When the illagers took us, they were originally going to hold us captive and use us as target practice.” His feet were firmly planted on the ground, his thighs pressed together and hands resting in his lap, “Maybe it’s because of the past experiences I’ve had with them that they decided not to, but they also saw a potential in you. Between us. And that’s why we’re here.”

Zedaph was barely catching up to the fact that they were in a woodland mansion, much less in what was heavily implied to be a breeding room, and each new thing that came out of Evil X’s mouth made his head spin more and more. But one thing bounced around in his head more than the others, and he had to ask,

“How do they expect us to… you know, fulfill this potential when we’re both men?”

Evil Ex stands up from the chair, and Zedaph doesn’t initially see what's so different at first until the other takes the towel off and motions his hand downwards between his legs spread shoulder width apart. Zedaph cannot hold back his audible gasp.

Evil X wasn’t wearing any bottoms underneath the towel, and he had a pussy.

Zedaph's mouth races before his brain could catch on, blurting loudly, “Did you always have that?”

“No,” Evil X doesn’t look impressed one bit, his hand coming up to gently finger at the hem of his shirt, the fidgeting tugging it down slightly as if trying to cover himself in light of some waning confidence. “This is the doing of the vex.”

“Oh…” Zedaph’s face starts to burn at how directly his question was, as well as how bluntly, or rather dare he say, unabashedly excited he sounded asking it. He was sure that the freckles sprinkled across his face were glowing slightly from his embarrassment. At the same time, he felt an itch on his cheek and turned his head to try to rub it against his shoulder, but the rope held steadfast and barely let him reach. The bed frame didn't even creak with his pulling, which frustrated him more with each passing minute.

Evil X stood there quietly, running his eyes up and down Zedaph’s body and around the bed, weighing his options. He’s given in to the illagers and their vex magic and their whims before in the past, actions of which remained unbeknownst to the majority of the people he’s interacted with. Only a save few knew of his track record, but he trusted them to mind their business and not share gossip about his endeavours. But in those instances with the illagers and the vex magic, it was mostly consensual between just him and them. Having a new party involved like this was unfamiliar territory, moreso with the addition being Zedaph in particular. The ropes would normally excite him, but in this case they filled him with uncertainty. Evil X didn’t mind being thrusted into these odd scenarios from time to time because he could handle himself, whether he’s made aware of them beforehand or not, but seeing Zedaph tied down made it feel… dubious.

Licking his lips, he takes a few steps towards the foot of the bed, stopping a few feet away and waiting until Zedaph made eye contact with him,

“We both know illagers can be a nasty bunch, and can do terrible things to others. In our case, they’re wanting us to do these things with each other, and they will play the long game if they have to.” He looks off to the side, loosely wringing the towel in his hands, “I wish I could give you an out, I really do.”

Zedaph lightly chews on his lip, feeling the severity of their situation finally sinking in now that he had time to sober up enough from whatever put him to sleep, and man was it heavy.

“So it’s really down to us fucking or facing death, is it?”

Evil X blinks at the sudden language, sounding strange in Zedaph’s voice, but he nods. At this, to his further surprise, Zedaph lets out a laugh, sharp but genuine.

“This is a really unconventional way for the universe to tell me I need to get laid. I mean, I’m even tied down for crying out loud!” Zedaph’s expression conveys an odd combination of resignation and mirth. He sighs, “Right, well, then let’s get to it if that’s really the only thing keeping us here.”

Evil X gawks. He was agonizing hours prior when Zedaph was still laying unconscious, worrying over the illagers forcing Zedaph of all people to be the one to fuck him after being transformed by vex magic, and here the guy was jumping aboard without needing much convincing.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel obligated to anything, much less to do anything like this. We still have time before the next guard patrols by our room. I can keep looking around for a way out. Maybe talk with one of the illagers and persuade them to let us go.”

“If I was Worm Man, I’d try to take down these goons while wearing nothing but my pants, but I’m not him. And while you are his incredible sidekick, you’re still here with me… without your pants. And you said it yourself— these restraints are enchanted. Sure, you can find a chance to escape, but what’s the point if I can’t go with you? You’d end up having to leave me behind, and we both know you don’t want to do that.”

Zedaph was right. For having "evil" in his name, Evil X didn’t want to leave him by himself in the clutches of the illagers for even a second, even if he ran off to return with help because who knows what they could do to him while he’s all alone, inbound rescue party or not.

Regardless of the implied consent, Evil X continues,

“This still doesn’t feel right.”

Zedaph sobers, “You’re right. It isn’t.”

Another silence falls between them, Evil X closing the distance between him and the bed and sitting on the edge, placing the towel next to him on the corner. This is the first time he’s touched it, and it feels really plush and supportive. No wonder Zedaph was knocked out for so long. It was also a rather large bed. Zedaph was already a big guy— not the tallest on the server, but taller than him and definitely with a stockier sort of physique— but Evil X guesses even he could roll around the bed comfortably.

Zedaph grabs his attention again when he says, “Honestly, don’t even feel bad about it. Sure, we’re essentially being forced to play some hanky panky, but it’s not like they’re in here making us get into position.” He pauses, getting slightly more serious, “Now that I think of it, I don’t even know how these guys breed. Villagers, yes— they used to get hot and heavy around doors but they wisened up and moved to beds, but illagers? Not a clue.”

Evil X knew how, but that was a topic he didn’t want to elaborate on, much less explain how he acquired this knowledge. He climbs onto the bed and lays a hand on Zedaph’s thigh close to his knee, on a spot that can still be considered relatively innocuous. It shuts Zedaph up immediately in the middle of his soliloquy, giving Evil X room to weigh in,

“Anything that happens in this room can and will stay in this room. It doesn’t change anything if it doesn’t have to— not now, not ever. The moment I see a way out for the both of us, I’m taking it.” Zedaph nods. “I need us to be on the same page.”

“Right,” the other swallows, almost audibly.

“I doubt we have a time frame, but I also wouldn’t put it past them to be impatient, but if it gets too much, let me know if you need a break.” He doesn’t miss the relief on Zedaph’s face, but that’s cut short when he starts moving his hand further up and around his thigh.

He also doesn’t miss the way Zedaph’s thigh twitches into his hand, how his eyelids flutter for just a second. Something twists and unfurls in his gut at the sight of Zedaph’s eyes losing focus for a moment before they settle back on his face, expression barely hiding his newly growing interest both in his eyes and in his undergarments.

Ex’s fingers curl slightly against the smooth skin of Zedaph’s inner thigh, relishing in how such a subtle movement can still make Zedaph’s body move involuntarily. His hand begins to glide further up his leg, reaching the underwear resting on his hip, fingers dipping just below the fabric. Zedaph makes a soft noise, a mix between a huff and a whine, his head falling back onto his pillow. Ex feels emboldened, looping his thumb underneath the fabric and moving his hand further up, causing it to stretch around the other’s cock, the outline of his arousal getting squished lightly. It was a wonder how something so big could be contained by such thin material.

Zedaph makes another noise, just as soft but sweeter to Ex’s ears. Ex brings his other hand up the other thigh, not nearly as slow and with more pressure, skirting past Zedaph’s bulge in favor of pushing up the other’s shirt, exposing his belly and running over the skin. If there was one thing Ex appreciated, it was the stark difference between his and Zedaph’s body. Ex was by no means a twig— he was pretty fit and had some good muscle tone, but Zedaph was built almost like a brick house under some pudge.

Below the soft stomach, he could feel the layer of solid muscle tightening under his fingertips. Spurred by a sudden interest, Ex gives his pouch a light squeeze, causing Zedaph to huff out a breathy laugh, sounding much too worked up with how little Ex has actually done.

“Stop… ‘m ticklish…”

Ex lets out a small hum, taking his hand out of Zedaph’s underwear, scooching his body forward to straddle his thighs and resting his newly freed hand on the bed by Zedaph’s side, using the new position to slide his first hand further up over the other’s chest. He’s not in much of a rush to get to Zedaph’s dick anytime soon, using the lack of a deadline to explore the man’s body at his own pace.

Zedaph’s starting to breathe a little heavier, his small sounds coming out slightly raspy, not used to being loud and vocal, and it makes Ex feel all the more devious when he runs his hand over a nipple and presses down on it with his thumb. Zedaph’s body jerks, limbs tugging hard against his binds, biting back a moan with his bottom lip seized between his teeth. Ex scoots up on his thighs a bit more, his crotch in close proximity with the other’s groin with barely any distance separating them. He’d be lying if he said messing with Zedaph in such a way wasn’t causing his own body to get excited and start self lubricating, especially at just the sight of the other being tied down and squirming.

Ex’s other hand finds its way underneath Zedaph’s shirt, joining the first hand to tease his nipples, gently rolling the nubs between expert fingers. Zedaph’s hands are in fists, his legs trying to kick from the stimulation. His head’s thrown back, his hair a wild mess on the pillow. His hips buck feebly against Ex’s full weight resting on top of his thighs.

“Is this alright?”

Zedaph rolls his head from one side to the other, and Ex pulls his hands off his chest.

“Zedaph, is this alright?”

The man in question opens his eyes, pupils dilated considerably. He licks his lips, which are looking a little swollen with how much he's been worrying them between his teeth.

“Y-yeah…” Zedaph lets out a sigh, “It feels really good…”

Ex smirks, taking this cue to slide his hands over Zedaph’s chest, this time above his shirt, “Of course it does. I’m good at what I do.” He leans forward on his knees until his hands are resting on the mattress above Zedaph’s shoulders, “You think you’re good for me to go up a step?”

Zedaph looks at him through half lidded eyes with a crooked smile and chuckles, “You ask after going up ten steps already.” Ex can’t help but roll his eyes, and Zedaph adds, “Go for it. Do your worst.”

And so he does. By trailing his hands back down Zedaph’s body until they reach his groin. He runs his hands over the outline, delighting in the moans he pulls from stroking him up and down through the fabric, feeling it twitch now that it’s getting proper attention. His hands then dip into the waistband of his underwear, pulling the fabric down just enough to free his cock. He releases the waistband, letting it snap right below the base of the shaft. Zedaph groans more loudly than before as his dick slaps onto his stomach.

Another thing Ex truly appreciates about Zedaph is that he’s wonderfully big and girthy. He resists taking Zedaph’s cock into his hands, instead lifting himself to position his hips to grind down onto his length. As much as he’d like to have Zedaph’s dick inside him splitting him in two, he wants to savor the feeling of his pussy sliding up and down the underside of his length, his wetness helping him glide effortlessly. He keeps the pace languid, almost painfully slow and heavy, and Zedaph’s whines become increasingly desperate.

“I want to reciprocate… I want to so badly…” Zedaph pants, legs and hips quivering with Ex’s ministrations, “God, I want to touch you.”

“Be a good boy, and you just might.” Ex was familiar with this game of deprivation. The reason why he wasn’t tied up was because he proved himself to be a willing subject. He showed his past masters that his sheer obedience was more of a binding testament than any leash and collar they could fasten onto him. He still welcomed their inclusion and enjoyed the thrill they brought.

He began swirling his hips over the head of Zedaph’s cock, his wetness mixing with the precum that’s already begun to dribble out and collect on Zedaph's stomach. He isn’t accustomed just yet to having his sex manipulated into a different form, but he could rely on his firsthand knowledge on where and how to stroke a cock in all the right places.

Zedaph’s muscles were straining against his restraints. Ex was teasing him, edging him, working him up in such a way that left him craving for more. He felt like he was close to being driven mad because he couldn’t move. He could barely budge, unable to gain any purchase or adjust to any angle he wanted. He was almost overwhelmed with the need to have Ex close the space around him and envelop him in his warmth.

“Ex…” God, he sounded so desperate.

“Zedaph.” Of course, always sounding as cool as a cucumber, as if he wasn’t currently driving Zedaph up a metaphorical wall, riding him in such a way.

“Can… can we take-...” He thought going up a flight of stairs was the only thing that could leave him this breathless, but even with him just laying here, talking was a bit of a challenge. Ex got the hint and stopped moving, lifting his hips up off Zedaph’s cock. Zedaph both appreciated the gesture and groaned at the loss of contact. Catching his breath, he opened his eyes just in time to watch as Ex ran a hand between his folds, coating his fingers in his slick and running them over his clit. Ex moaned as he rubbed himself, and Zedaph moaned at the sight almost in response.

“I’m so wet…” With those words alone, sounding so filthy and satisfied coming from Ex’s mouth, Zedaph felt something seize in his belly. He was scrambled from the inside out, mind sizzled from the effects of whatever spell was placed on his restraints. His body was already sore from all the twitching and tensing Ex was causing with his skilled maneuvers, but determination to keep going simmered deep in his gut.

“Ex, please… sit on me already… I beg of you.” His cock was sensitive, Ex’s slick evaporating and cooling his hot skin. He missed feeling the warmth, even if it wasn’t completely enveloping. He didn't want to stop feeling Ex’s hips rocking against his own, Ex’s full body weight bearing down on his cock and feeling indescribably good. He wanted more, and Ex was holding back, he knows it.

“Keep begging, and I might.” How rude. Zedaph was already bound by cables that were made for the explicit purpose of torturing him, he was sure of it. He thinks back to when he expressed gratitude for not being alone and having Ex there with him, but all this teasing was making him crazy.

“Please, Ex. Please, I need my cock inside you, please…” He’s not sure how many more ‘please’s he sprinkled generously in his following sentences, but all he can register is the warmth of Ex’s core pressing lightly down on his stomach. A hand gingerly lifts his cock from his stomach bug the tip and pushes it back towards the foot of the bed, and soon enough Ex is sliding up his belly and grinding his ass back against his cock. He’s still denying Zedaph entry, but the idea of Ex riding him anally makes sparks run up his spine, and he moans louder than before. He thinks about being free from his restraints and taking Ex, bending him face down over the bed and plowing into him with reckless abandon. He thinks about laying him face up on the bed with his legs over his shoulders and going in as deeply as he possibly can, filling him up with every single inch.

Yet Ex refuses to humor him, lifting up just enough to let Zedaph’s cock slap wetly onto his stomach yet again before sitting down against it once more, landing his hands on Zedaph’s shoulders for support, and Zedaph nearly cries. His nails dig into his palms and his toes curl as he pulls uselessly at the cables, muscles nearly cramping from the effort. He relaxes only when Ex leans forward, stopping when their faces are inches apart before asking,

“What do you want me to do, Zedaph?”

Zedaph’s wires misfire and he stares dumbly, swallowing heavily. He wants his cock buried, squeezed, tightened, pumped silly, and many other things.

“I…”

Ex tilts his head, bringing up a hand and trailing his fingers lazily on Zedaph’s neck and along his jaw, “What was that? You’ll need to speak up.”

Zedaph whines, feeling vulnerable. Ex knows what he wants! He’s already said what he wants several times!

“I want… I want you to fuck me… p-please...”

To his surprise, Ex pats him on the cheek, not roughly but not gently, either.

“Such a good boy, saying ‘please’ without me having to remind you.”

“Thank you…” Zedaph isn’t sure how to take that response, but his dick apparently does when it twitches at Ex’s praise. Soon enough he’s taken into Ex’s hand and pointed up, and Ex starts lining himself up with the tip. Zedaph waits on bated breath and nearly puffs it all out when he feels his head coming into contact with the folds. However, that’s as far as he gets cause Ex decides to keep teasing him by not lowering himself past the head. It’s a welcome change to the grinding Ex was doing earlier, but with the focus being on just the head, Zedaph was quickly getting overstimulated, and the rest of him was longing to be touched.

Ex tilts his hips, sinking down just slightly more and biting his lip at the stretch. He’s finally past the head, but not by much, and he sits still for a few seconds to adjust before rising and sinking down again. He can’t help the low groan that escapes from his mouth as his walls twitch around Zedaph, the sensations making him slow down because despite being quite experienced, the manipulation and transformation of his lower half was making this new stimulation feel so entirely foreign, which in itself was quite distracting yet felt really good. Experimentally, he swivels his hips forwards and backwards, slowly pumping the tip in and out of himself, taking deep breaths interlaced with soft gasps here and there to try to relax his muscles.

He was honestly planning on sitting down on his dick straight away from the beginning, but after seeing the impressive circumference he was gonna be dealing with, he turned the dial back several notches. He knew his limitations and breaking points with his usual bits, but he was working with unfamiliar equipment this time around, so he didn’t want to hurt himself or Zedaph with his horny hubris.

“Fuck, you’re so thick,” he mutters, mild irritation seeping into his voice because he already wants to ride him at full speed, but the slight burning from being stretched open too wide too fast was getting in his way and making him cautious. He huffs, ambition making him want to go faster, as well as making him not hear the way Zedaph weakly expressed gratitude at the obvious remark regarding his size. It was uncomfortable at times when it felt like he had taken Zedaph’s dick too deep, that it was bumping against areas that shouldn’t be touched, but the discomfort felt good in a wierd way, especially as he focused more on his breathing and relaxing the muscles of his walls. He tightened them every now and then, making Zedaph whine at the hot and wet pressure wrapping around him more and more.

"Oh, you're so warm and tight, Ex… f-fuck..."

Ex makes it about halfway down his cock before lifting up again. Zedaph is almost out of him before he pushes down once more, this time more forcefully and further down than before. Panting, he feels like he's almost bottomed out, thighs pressing into Zedaph’s hips from how satisfyingly full he felt. He feels that strange pressure in his gut, perhaps a warning from his body that he shouldn't go any further, and he almost listens.

Except he doesn’t, driven by Zedaph’s desperate panting and moaning, lifting himself up and pushing back down again slightly harder than before, making the both of them groan in unison. He finds that he can't keep going down, even with both of his hands bracing against Zedaph’s chest. He's really trying to open himself more with his dick, each stroke feeling marginally smoother but not quite deeper. His never ending self-made lubricant is definitely helping make things easier, but his quest to sit on this dick completely is being thwarted on accounts of both the circumference being quite girthy, as well as him not properly working himself up and stretching himself out to take this said girth.

He eventually huffs, obviously with impatience and frustration, and pulls himself off of Zedaph's length entirely, making the other whine as his dick slaps onto his stomach yet again, making Zedaph’s arms jerk rather forcefully.

A snapping sound cuts through the air suddenly, making them both freeze.

Zedaph's restraints snapped, whether from his constant fidgeting whittling down their durability or from a burst of freak strength, and they're both shocked into a stupor, but Zedaph is quicker to recover and flips them over, pressing Ex into the mattress with his body, lips mashing against his. Zedaph moans into the kiss and Ex responds in kind, the former bringing a hand up to Ex's cheek. Having this newly freed mobility released some of the pent up energy he's accumulated from being tied down for so long under Ex's teasing, but he's had time to think about a couple of new things to try.

Breaking the kiss but slipping in a quick peck for good measure, he slides his hand down Ex's jaw, holding his chin and gently turning his head to the side before leaning down again.

“My turn," he says into Ex's ear, the unexpectedly low pitch of his voice making Ex feel unexpectedly weak in the knees despite being on his back.

But instead of Zedaph lining himself up with his entrance and pushing his length in like he originally expected, Zedaph's sliding down his body instead, peppering kisses everywhere he can reach— his collarbones, his chest, his belly, even the delicate curve of his iliac crest where it pokes up subtly from underneath the hem of his shirt.

Ex should've seen what Zedaph was aiming to do from a mile away, but it didn't catch up to him even as the guy was nestling his shoulders under his legs, making himself comfortable with his head between his thighs. It wasn't until Zedaph stuck his tongue out and licked a very hot and heavy stripe up the lips of his vulva, dipping the tip between them at the top to apply some remarkably delicious pressure against his clit that he's throwing his head back and grabbing a fistful of golden hair with a startled gasp.

Zedaph's tongue the second time around slides inbetween his folds, circling around his opening before sliding back up to that wonderfully sensitive button. He's more gentle with the pressure, but zigzags the tip of his tongue on his clit a couple times, making Ex's legs twitch and breaths catch unevenly in his throat.

With his legs being supported on Zedaph's shoulders with firm hands holding them down, he feels exposed, completely open to whatever Zedaph's mouth wants to do to him. Zedaph's lips close around his clit and he alternates between sucking gently and lapping lightly at it with his tongue, and Ex cannot stop his body from writhing nor the sounds he makes from coming out of his mouth.

He's almost afraid that he's gonna tear Zedaph's hair out, but he's also pretty sure the guy was doing this fancy tongue-work on purpose as a form of payback. He gets enough sense into himself to ease up on his grip in his hair, and looks down just in time to make eye contact with Zedaph.

And boy, that was not a look he was expecting.

His hair is sticking out in all kinds of directions under Ex's hands, his locks tangled haphazardly between his fingers. He was currently licking another stripe up Ex, making it apparent how much of a mess he's gotten on his face. The glow of his freckles is a lot stronger than before, making some of Ex's slick glisten subtly on his nose and cheeks, and he swears even his eyes are almost glowing, too. He looks just as wrecked as Ex feels in that moment. Zedaph stays like this for a fraction of a second, looking into Ex's eyes from under his lashes and not making a move to wipe his face anytime soon. Instead he ducks back down and licks and sucks around his entrance, the heat of his mouth and breath making Ex's head fall back once more and his toes curl.

Zedaph prods at his front opening with his tongue, the tip poking just past the hymen and feeling around the walls. Ex shivers, the sensation feeling like something akin to a warm meat tentacle probing him out of sexual curiosity. The tongue slips out of him, replaced in his opening by a finger, which is followed right after by a second. Ex's hands slip from his hair, trailing them up his belly absentmindedly.

Zedaph is amazed at how warm Ex is on the inside, slowly pushing his fingers deeper into him. Ex exhales audibly, worked up from being eaten out earlier, the leg that isn't being held by Zedaph's hand shifting on his shoulder. Zedaph keeps fingering him, twisting his wrist, slowly pumping them in and out, and when he curls his fingers while pulling back, Ex's knees snap shut against his head, scaring the snot out of him.

Ex tries his best to open his legs as fast as he closed them, "Fuck, sorry…" Whatever spot Zedaph managed to press inside him sent a wonderful shock through him.

Zedaph screws one eye shut against the ringing in his ear from having his ears clapped but doesn't stop moving his hand, "No it's okay, you just startled me. I wasn't expecting that strong of a reaction from just my fingers." For being smaller, Ex was surprisingly strong, and Zedaph felt a small thrill when his head was squeezed between those thighs.

"Whatever you did, do it again, but move your hand faster."

"Sure thing." He leaves in his middle finger and switches out the index with the ring finger, leaning more on his other elbow so he can move his hand faster. It takes a bit of guesswork with the angling and a couple misses, but the sudden tilt of his hips and sharp gasp Ex makes tells him he's found that spot again and focuses on it.

He speeds up his hand a bit, not missing how Ex's thighs tremble but try not to close around his head again. Leaning in, he flicks at Ex's clit with his tongue, making his hips tilt again, but curiously pulling an odd sound from him as well. Deciding he really likes that sound, Zedaph does it again, and again, and again one more time. Ex has one hand on his shirt and one in the bedsheets, both in fists and white knuckling the fabric.

"Zedaph—!" He seizes just as a small amount of clear liquid shoots out where Zedaph's fingers connect to Ex's opening, spraying a few drops onto his wrist. Zedaph is startled yet again and stops moving entirely as he stares at the liquid on his wrist.

"Did you just cum?"

Breathless, Ex shakes his head, "No, but… I don't… I don't think I did, but I've never felt anything like that before, but… I-I don't know..." Ex lifts a hand and weakly wipes at his face, "What the fuck…"

Zedaph chuckles, finding this shared new experience between them very amusing. With the tips of his fingers still inside Ex, he curls his hand, pressing his fingers back in and sliding the pad of his thumb up and down the smooth skin just below his clit and right above his opening.

"I think this area's called the, uh… the vulvar vestibule."

Ex makes a noncommittal sound that's clearly affected by Zedaph's motions, "You know more about it than I do, and I'm the one with it."

Zedaph snorts, trying his luck by adding a third finger, which slips in fairly easy despite making Ex groan and his walls twitch and tighten around them.

"Did you want to try riding my dick again? I think you're more prepared now than you were the first time around."

Ex sighs, not wanting to get up, but he does sit up on an elbow and reach down to grab Zedaph's wrist to pull his hand out of him. To Zedaph's surprise, Ex guides his fingers towards his mouth, licking at them before taking them into his mouth.

Zedaph stares at him wide-eyed, unsure of what he's feeling but absolutely intrigued by it. Locking eyes as Ex slides his tongue between his fingers and sucking on the tips with a pop, Ex says,

"How about you fuck me instead?"

Zedaph keeps staring, making Ex smirk. Gently tugging on his wrist, Ex continues,

"You're already up and I'm too comfortable laying down."

Zedaph laughs, "Is that so?"

"Yes. Now come here."

He sees how Zedaph's gaze trains onto his lips when he crawls up, closing his eyes as they start kissing again. Even though there's some space between their bodies as Zedaph's holding himself up on his elbows, Ex can still feel the telltale weight of his dick pressing into the junction where his thigh connects with his hip. He shifts, wrapping his arms around Zedaph's shoulders, sliding a hand up back into the tousled mop on his head to deepen the kiss.

His other hand slides down until it's cupping Zedaph's buttcheek, rubbing it before giving it a nice squeeze. Zedaph groans, responding in kind by gently grinding his hips against Ex's. They keep kissing and grinding for several minutes without much of a rush, enjoying the feel of their lips and hips pushing and sliding against each other. Ex licks at Zedaph's mouth, recognising the taste of his slick still on the guy's face. They pull apart to breathe, and Ex asks,

"You never did clean your face, did you?"

"Nope. However, my fingers were till they were spotless thanks to a certain someone."

Ex rolls his eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll clean up right quick." Zedaph reaches down, grabs Ex's shirt, and wipes his mouth with it, making Ex squawk indignantly. Zedaph then had the nerve to smile innocently,

"There, all squeaky clean." Ex squints at him.

"Wow. I ask you to do something out of the goodness of your heart, and you do this to me. I see how it is."

"Aww I'm sorry." Ex crosses his arms, and Zedaph laughs, "No, don't be mad! I'm sorry!" Ex pouts in response.

Zedaph leans down to kiss him again, but Ex turns his head away in mock petulance, so Zedaph kisses him on the jaw instead. The motion makes his dick rub against Ex's hip, and Ex reaches down and, for the first time since they'd been locked up in this room, finally grabs hold of it properly, running his hand up and down along the length. Sucking in a breath, Zedaph’s hips follow after Ex's slow strokes, lowering his face from his jaw to his neck where he places more kisses.

Ex puts his mouth up to Zedaph's ear, murmuring, "You weren't jacking yourself off while eating me out, were you?"

Zedaph hums, pressing his nose into the junction of Ex's shoulder, "No…"

Ex squeezes a little, making Zedaph moan softly, and adds, "Good, because that's my job."

“Yes, yes, whatever you say…” Zedaph nips at the delicate skin at the junction of Ex’s neck, shifting his hips to match the angle of Ex’s hand. He chances a few small thrusts, feeling Ex’s grip adjust to the angle before stroking him a little faster. Before Zedaph can get a rhythm going, Ex is lining him up with his entrance, making Zedaph pause and lift up a little,

“You sure?”

“Mhm,” Ex replies as he slides the tip of Zedaph’s dick up and down his folds, stopping and giving him a light tug when the tip presses against his entrance. Without another word, Zedaph pushes his hips forward, sliding his dick into Ex much more easily. Somehow his slow thrusts feel a lot deeper than before, and Ex reckons it’s because of the new angle of his hips allowing Zedaph to go in farther. The slight discomfort is still there when Zedaph nearly bottoms out inside him, but it's nowhere near as distracting.

Ex's feet somehow find themselves up in the air, and Zedaph grabs hold of his calves to wrap around his waist, adjusting himself to start thrusting a little faster. Ex's hands start tightening in the sheets, panting almost in time of the tip of Zedaph's dick nearly pushing into his guts.

"Fucking christ, you're getting in there pretty deep."

"Can't say I've dealt with many vaginas, but right now I'm fairly certain I'm reaching your A-spot," Zedaph punctuates with a slower but stronger push of his hips, and Ex can feel his insides twitch as a warm tension starts to manifest in his core. His nearly crisscrossed ankles tighten around Zedaph,

"Keep doing that," he gasps. “Go faster.”

So Zedaph does.

The warmth Ex feels in his gut slowly starts to expand, and he finds he doesn’t know what to do with his hands as they uselessly grasp at the sheets. Zedaph shifts slightly as he keeps thrusting, but it makes Ex cry out suddenly as Zedaph’s dick rubs wonderfully against a surprisingly sensitive part inside him. One of his hands flies to grasp at Zedaph’s shirt, his heels digging into Zedaph’s rear as he’s being pounded into. He knows he’s being loud and grabby, but he’s long since stopped caring, reveling in how being stretched open so much became so pleasurable. With his eyes screwed shut, he doesn’t see as Zedaph snakes a hand to where their bodies connect and starts rubbing at his clit in time with his thrusts, and Ex keens.

“Oh, oh f-… oh fuck, I’m—”

The warmth snaps inside him, making his body seize as the waves spill and flood throughout his body, filling him with a tingling sensation. A broken cry followed by a string of half-formed words and choked gasps escapes his mouth, his orgasm making his thighs flutter and squeeze against Zedaph’s waist. He can feel his walls contracting hard around Zedaph’s dick, and after thrusting a few more times, he feels Zedaph’s hips stutter against his own and the contractions of his dick as he spills more warmth into him. Zedaph keeps his hips moving but he, too, slows down, and soon they both stay still, panting as their afterglows set in. The moment Zedaph pulls out of him with a shudder, Ex pushes him off to the side, and Zedaph falls bonelessly into the tangle of sheets on the mattress with a small sound of complaint.

Ex turns his head to see Zedaph with his arm draped over his face, hair sticking out in a billion directions, “Don’t sound so upset. You turn into a sack of potatoes after you cum, and you’re heavy. I don’t want you crushing me.”

“That’s fair…” Zedaph lets out breathlessly.

Ex turns his head back, staring up at the ceiling. His vision slowly blurs, feeling sleepy all of a sudden. He lets the exhaustion overtake him, his senses fading into a comfortable darkness, floating weightlessly into the empty void.

Coming to, he’s on a different bed with different coloured sheets. His surroundings show walls made of dirt, and after spotting a small terracotta pot sitting in the corner, he recognizes it as his little dirt hut. His communicator on the floor next to his bedside beeps, and he reaches down to grab it.

A private message notification is on the screen, and it’s from Zedaph.

‘Are you back at your base? I’m at mine.’

Replaying the last few memories he can scrounge from his sleep-addled brain, he remembers the woodland mansion. He takes stock of his previously stolen pieces of garments which are now returned on his person, such as his underwear and pants. His helmet and shoes rest on the floor on the other side of his bed.

‘Yes, I’m at my base.’ Rolling onto his belly, he can feel a telltale mound between his legs, and he writes, ‘And I have my dick again.’

‘I have mine, too,’ reads the response message on Ex’s screen, but before he can reply after rolling his eyes, another message comes in.

‘You know, despite us agreeing that whatever happens in a woodland mansion stays in a woodland mansion, I wouldn’t mind giving what we did another go… if you’re up for it ;)”

Ex huffs in amusement, not needing to be told twice.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, made it to the end whether you read the fic or not! Glad to have you down here c':
> 
> Bit of an explanation— in my discord group, we've established that Ex ~~fucks~~ has dabbled with the forces of the vex, even down to a, uhmm... intimate level. And although I'm not 100% on board with some of their characterizations of vex magic and other related elements, someone proposed the idea of vex magic being able to manipulate genitalia, so of course I was all for it
> 
> Then later on, someone prompted the idea of Ex grinding his vexgina against Zedaph's dick, then two seconds later that same person was like "oh yeah, Zedaph's also tied up in bed but manages to break the restraints and it's p hot when he does it", and this fic was born
> 
> Beware, yet another rant:
> 
> Sorry to still be a little soap boxy, but can I just say that in Mumbo's stream he did today on 04/21/2020, Mumbo referred to his Hermitcraft self as an extension of himself when he was talking about how he carries himself whenever he has a conversation with Iskall. Like I forget the actual conversation they were having leading up to that moment, but the fact Mumbo had that little pullback moment kinda reassures me that oftentimes it's all just for a bit.
> 
> Like yeah, they're doing bits together and it's a collective effort, but if anyone's ever acted out scenes or been remotely involved with anything to do with drama/theatre, there's always that separation of self. And yes, their connections are real, but keep in mind they're performers on a stage with an audience always in mind. Cleo said we don't truly know the hermits for who they are, and we're not entitled to how they are in private away from recording equipment. So that reassures me in that person =/= persona
> 
> It's called "Real Person FICTION" for a reason, but I do agree that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed in that we absolutely must not impose our imaginative scenarios as if they are an undeniable reality or truth. We all know you're smarter than to believe the stuff that happens in fanfics/fanart are real
> 
> /end rant
> 
> This is all fake and only meant for the purpose of entertainment as well as a means to work on my skills as a writer, cause before this, I was strictly just an artist, and I'd really like to expand my skillsets
> 
> But yeah, hope you enjoyed ✌️✨


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